The feeling is the same.

What I really want is a seat in front of the fire, more time. Slow time.

First in. They are painting his old office; it is a reminder that our departure is forthcoming. I will enjoy it while it lasts.

They are still cutting tile, but at least today’s choice of music is Top 40. Wait, is it still called Top 40 if the songs are 30 years old? Is this now the oldies?

He says to me that the behavior is actually disrespectful. I tell him that I agree. I am trying to understand what it is, how to fix it, if I even can fix it.

I don’t have a good feeling about today.

Effort. Focus. Power.

“Oh, it’s because you’re missing your best player,” they say. No, no. That is not it.

I tell him that I needed tomorrow away so that I could come back as the person I want and like to be. I know that I can’t be that tomorrow.

Reflection is important but pointless without a change in behavior.