Ten.Two Hundred & Ninety-Seven
1. The colors of this morning's sky: peach and lavender and lemon and sky blue. I'm reminded of rainbow sherbet.
2. The blooms from yesterday's floral workshop are so fragrant. I think it might just be the eucalyptus.
3. Waffles toasted in the oven and bacon and coffee. I sit next to the big kid at the island.
4. She’s pouting again because there isn’t any prosciutto.
5. Meal plan + grocery list + grocery shopping + last minute supplies + sunshine + getting to talk to the woman at Michael’s about the retreat.
6. That feeling of almost being knocked over from gratitude.
7. Thought we were out of ink. Turned out we’re out of paper.
8. But the goal is to be in bed before 11 so that I’m not too tired on the plane.
9. He tells me that he’s excited for me and that we’re going to have fun and it feels good and affirming to be seen and loved.
10. Travel jitters.
Ten.Two Hundred & Ninety-Six
1. Slept in just long enough for it to feel good but not like my day has run away from me.
2. Coffee. Fruit Loops with flax milk. I think I like flax milk.
3. This corner of the gray linen sofa and the view from the window across from it. I see that the goose is back. He seems to travel alone and has made the wetlands behind the house his home.
4. On the way in I listen to the On Being episode with angel Kyoto williams and remember that I have half-read her book, Radical Dharma.
5. The shop is basically me boxed into 4 walls: white, green plants, heavy paper stock, Factured Goods brass spoons, succulents in tiny pots, and all the flowers.
6. My nerves quickly dissipate.
7. I layer eucalyptus and roses and some other plants that I can't yet name and wrap them in brown craft paper, tie them with a string. The brightness and slight sweetness of the flowery gin cocktail.
8. The drive home is not too long, but just long enough to tire me.
9. I leave in only 2 sleeps.
10. I needed a day like to day with so much alone time, with the sun, with flowers, with women and light chatter, with being present, with so much feeling like myself.
Ten.Two Hundred & Seventy-Four
1. Usually the morning sky has a way of slowly unfolding itself but today, it's quietly erupting in shades of purple and orange and pink.
2. I'm trying not to be upset about it. Because it's really not his fault and yet it is. But it means that I have to do today alone and it feels unfair.
3. Bacon. Leftover bagels. But they're still sleeping.
4. This morning's method of distraction appears to be searching for pendant lighting.
5. We find him a chiropractor who take him this morning. He's better, but not at his best. He promises that he's not doing to ditch me today. I do feel better with this acknowledgement.
6. Her vision is changing. As long as there is no rapid progression, there is no need to be concerned.
7. You can tell by the way he engages with you that this job, this job that most of us would not want to do, brings him pleasure. He radiates joy, tells us we should go see Black Panther.
8. A Wrinkle In Time.
9. Love is always the answer.
10. A late dinner of chicken noodle soup eaten around the counter.
Ten.Two Hundred & Seventy-Four
1. Usually the morning sky has a way of slowly unfolding itself but today, it's quietly erupting in shades of purple and orange and pink.
2. I'm trying not to be upset about it. Because it's really not his fault and yet it is. But it means that I have to do today alone and it feels unfair.
3. Bacon. Leftover bagels. But they're still sleeping.
4. This morning's method of distraction appears to be searching for pendant lighting.
5. We find him a chiropractor who take him this morning. He's better, but not at his best. He promises that he's not doing to ditch me today. I do feel better with this acknowledgement.
6. Her vision is changing. As long as there is no rapid progression, there is no need to be concerned.
7. You can tell by the way he engages with you that this job, this job that most of us would not want to do, brings him pleasure. He radiates joy, tells us we should go see Black Panther.
8. A Wrinkle In Time.
9. Love is always the answer.
10. A late dinner of chicken noodle soup eaten around the counter.
Ten.Two Hundred & Thirty-Four
1. Up before the alarm. Moving around with only the light of my phone, trying to not wake her.
2. I’m winded by the time I get up the hill to the parking lot where the car is. I blame it on the wedges.
3. Naomi Shihab Nye is sitting right beside me at breakfast. I want to be talking to her but find myself captivated by conversation with Lucas and Lisa. And they are radiating a tenderness that I find so very compelling.
4. Palestine.
5. I don’t know this name and I am not particularly excited to hear him talk until he starts reading haiku and it makes me think of the women in liberated lines and I’m tickled.
6. I’ve never paid attention to America Ferrera before but I will after today.
7. David Whyte, with his black pants tucked messily into, his slouchy black boots sends us off with a poem. This one I record.
8. I hug Tibeyo because I think he might need it and because there are many others I would hug but I can’t find them and I need to go.
9. The ride to San Francisco is easy. Traffic on 17, 85 and 101 is light. The sun is shining and I am crying. I’ve cried a little every day since I arrived. Getting here wasn’t easy. Being here wasn’t easy. Leaving is never easy.
10. It’s a good thing I meditated this morning.
10.1 Airport sushi and an Ichiban. Prompt writing. An aisle seat in the back with another black woman named Alecia. He gives us each two bottles of wine and a snack box for free because he can and he wants to and sometimes that’s what brothers and sisters do for each other.
10.2 Home.