Ten.One Thousand, Two Hundred & Nineteen

1. Out of firewood.

2. The extra sleep. I needed the extra sleep.

3. Rain, rain, and more rain. Today is the right day for it.

4. I think I know what to do.

5. He asks me how long I think he will be in a wheelchair.

6. “I’m getting a degree in you,” I say. He smiles.

7. I think about what the options could be. He needs more time. I need more time. I need more time with him. We need more time together.

8. Popcorn and a nap.

9. Dragging pieces of pork tenderloin through the honey-garlic sauce.

10. “My standard is my standard.” - Deion Sanders

Ten.One Thousand, Two Hundred & Eighteen

1. Friday.

2. This was the right idea.

3. Even though she’s gone, she’s not really gone, and that makes me happy.

4. Hail?

5. Chicken tikka mild. I drink half of his Taj Mahal and some water. The sky has cleared.

6. “It’s a great day to ruin someone’s senior night.”

7. “They’re crying right now, so it’s a good time to punch them in the face.”

8. I’m not convinced this wasn’t rigged. Note to self.

9. But really, we have come a long way. We’ve come a long way.

10. We stand outside under the stars and talk about emo bands and silent basketballs and a-ha moments. I hug her before she leaves. We don’t have any more of these left. One more practice. One more game.

Ten.One Thousand, Two Hundred & Seventeen

1. What day is today?

2. This morning, I ride along for school drop-off. Heated seat. Coffee in hand. Thick skies. The sounds of their forks clattering against their plates as they eat another breakfast on the go.

3. Always carrying too many things.

4. I am the luckiest.

5. “Just remember, brothers and sisters, this too shall pass.”

6. The office is dark and quiet and I miss sitting in this place.

7. Is it silly to have hope still? No.

8. She asks him how he’s feeling about the upcoming surgery. He says he’s been in pain for a long time, so he’s looking forward to not being in pain anymore. And for the opportunity to actually have a vacation this summer because he won’t be able to do football. I chuckle. I also worry.

9. Two more games. Two more opportunities. It feels like the momentum is back in our favor. What are all the ways in which it can go right?

10. Meaningful rest.

Ten.One Thousand, Two Hundred & Sixteen

1. Uncomfortable.

2. We both look toward the sky. “About two hours until it begins,” he says.

3. Two eggs, avocado, fruit, coffee. Conversation. I wish I had more time.

4. I sit in front of the fireplace and start to ask myself all of the questions that I haven’t stopped to ask myself.

5. If I don’t eat now, I won’t eat at all. I eat the whole plate of pasta, some vegetables, and the whole dessert.

6. Effort. Focus. Power.

7. I tell her that tonight is the night to beat them; that the last three games are the best games we’ve had in the new year.

8. He stops and tells them that they kicked his team’s butt. That the outcome didn’t reflect what they did on the floor.

9. She asks me if I’m okay. I tell her that I’m just tired.

10. Just need to sleep.

Ten.One Thousand, Two Hundred & Fifteen

1. Twenty minutes later.

2. Red blazer. I say something about it being against the dress code. I throw on something black over it to hide it.

3. Not long enough of a commute to finish the song.

4. Something about this year feels different for me. Too distracted? Too disconnected? Too, too, too.

5. I'm just trying to be solution-oriented.

6. Almost $1000 in basketballs in one season gone.

7. If nothing else, I have these people.

8. Bittersweet.

9. “I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it.”

10. A little light.