Ten.Two Thousand, One Hundred & Eighty-Two

1. Wiped. Out.

2. Gratitude.

3. Examining my competencies.

4. I’ll figure it out. I always do.

5. Grilling season.

6. “My life is so much better, it’s so much more enriched, if I make the effort. If I actually celebrate with gratitude the fact that I get to be on this gorgeous planet.” - RuPaul

7. Turns out she negotiated a fee. Ha!

8. He really wants to go. I really want him to go. I’m really bad at planning things like this.

9. Dead earbuds which means all that I can hear are my own thoughts.

10. Why is it that I think I can never get away?

Ten.Two Thousand, One Hundred & Eighty-One

1. Day 3.

2. Coffee. Kombucha. The smell of sausage gravy.

3. He asks me what time I want to leave. I don’t really need to go.

4. More reading. Not enough time to write.

5. He wasn’t wrong.

6. No clouds in the sky today, which means everything feels just a little bit hotter.

7. Three days is too much.

8. Captivated by the beauty of Norah Jones.

9. But then, the silver lining to this is meeting them and genuinely hoping to run into them again, even though they live half a country away.

10. The Uber driver’s accent is thick. Very thick and German. He’s from the Black Forest, he says. “We make the best German wines there,” he says. I’m getting nauseous in the backseat of his Tesla. Teslas always make me feel nauseous.

Ten.Two Thousand, One Hundred & Eighty

1. Oddly fresh.

2. Bright morning sun. Tall glass of water. Headphones and study music. Trying to cram two chapters of reading before departure.

3. This Uber smells like body odor and peppermint gum.

4. BBQ and french fries and lots of water.

5. “My mother…my mother really hates this song.”

6. Bright blue skies. Cooler than yesterday. Strong desire to lay out on the benches by the table with my face toward the sun.

7. Energy shifts.

8. What would I do the same? What would I do differently? In what ways could participation in something like this benefit a brand? What kind of brand? Who would be the target audience? How would you engage them? These are things one thinks about while waiting to go to the bathroom.

9. “She holds the hand that holds her down / She will rise above” - Pearl Jam

10. Two nights in a row up way past my bedtime. One more day. Just one more day.

Ten.Two Thousand, One Hundred & Seventy-Eight

1. Cold.

2. Too many outfit changes.

3. I remember to eat the avocado.

4. We talk until the phone begins to cut out on Petrified Forest Road. Something is better than nothing.

5. The views.

6. I get worried that I will get hangry and that they don’t know me well enough to be able to tell the difference between real anger and low blood sugar.

7. I’m glad I’ve allowed myself to be surprised.

8. Familiar faces.

9. It could only happen here.

10. The three of us walk out into the night under the light of the full moon.

Ten.Two Thousand, One Hundred & Seventy-Seven

1. I know I must get up when the birds are at their loudest.

2. A full pot.

3. What do we do now?

4. I forgot to eat my avocado, and I’m feeling it.

5. It’s closer than I think it is.

6. I leave the main lights off and tell her that my old office mate and I used to sit in the dark all the time. Sensitive? No. I don’t like artificial light, is all.

7. They say they have no time for any more appointments today. I tell her it looks like we’re going to Smith’s Pharmacy. She explains to me how to select the right press-on nails.

8. I don’t think you can write it this way.

9. She flips her phone camera to show one of the girls my nails.

10. I tell them that they are not a disappointment. They make disappointing decisions.

11. “Where there is no vision, the people perish…”