Ten.Two Thousand, Three Hundred & Forty
More pitter-patter in the dark.
Tears and crumbling chocolate structures.
I lean back in the seat and close my eyes. What’s done is done. Now, we wait.
Water on the roads. Mud and rock sliding onto the thin shoulders that curve along the trail. Branches
Parmesan Truffle fries.
And another one. And another one. And another one.
The group of them with the same look on their face, asking the same question. “They look like they want to riot.” They retreat. We laugh.
Hard now, so it can feel easy later.
Feet warmed by fire. Leftovers for dinner. Craving bed.
There’s still plenty of time.
Ten.Two Thousand, Three Hundred & Thirty-Nine
2:41 a.m.
Closed eyes but a racing mind.
So many cars in the parking lot for this early in the morning and with all this rain.
Peaceful alone time carting boxes and bags out the car and into the building, trying not to get my wet boot prints all over the clean floors.
Just a very large decaf.
225.
Successful? I think so. I like this team. It’s a good team.
Rushing into practice in the rain. Reminder to move anything and everything back to end times at 2 p.m.
Focus.
The cancellation is as much of a gift as it is inconvenient. We all need more preparation.
Ten.Two Thousand, Three Hundred & Thirty-Eight
3 a.m. Noooooo.
I sleep/think and listen to rain as I wait for the alarm to go off.
100.
Stack the days.
I load the rentals into the back of the car in the rain.
I know what was missing. Joy. I remind myself that my intention was to embrace joy.
The rain sounds so loud, and I want to build a fire, but today is not the day for that.
Looking forward to the days when I get to make a different choice
Of course, this part isn’t going the way I want it to go. But I’ll make it work.
Don’t wanna.
Ten.Two Thousand, Three Hundred & Thirty-Seven
Still the hardest, most right thing to do.
99.
We clock over two hours on the phone today, just like in the old days. I miss the old routine of an hour each morning.
Print and organize
Possibilities and potential and
I tell her that the kombucha is in place of the yerba mate because I’ve been caffeine-free for so many months now.
So close and yet so far.
Probably need to up my blood pressure medication for the first
I never have an appetite on game day.
Rest. Refocus. Refine.
Eight is a lucky number.
Ten.Two Thousand, Three Hundred & Thirty-Six
One day.
Game day bacon breakfast for the little one.
I tell her that honesty is hard, but it’s always the best.
But you also need to go there as if you have nothing to lose.
The way they are mansplaining to us about this sink smell is offensive.
One day.
All I did was prolong the inevitable.
“Heavy is the head that wears the crown,” he always says.
The right and hard thing.
“On this team, we act selflessly.”