Ten.Thirty-Nine
1. Waking up with the moon.
2. The bathroom tiles glow from the light. It's so quiet. These are always the quietest hours. I love the times when I'm the only one awake.
3. Pants and shirt and jacket. Don't forget the pin. The babysitter will be here in 5 minutes. She is always early.
4. Quickly to the store first. I need something to eat before I drink the coffee. We try to use the 1-hour and 29-minute ride into the city to review, but sit mostly in silence. You realize that you know all you can know at this moment and there's no use stressing yourself trying to add in just one more thing.
5. What I miss most about my old town is how much I walked to everything. This is what I like about city living: the fresh air, the movement of your body, the sites, and the sounds. And all that brick.
6. The four of them seem nice and friendly. The first two parts of the test are done. I feel much more relieved. Like, maybe this will happen after all.
7. Nothing I eat is staying in my body. I've had a headache since this morning. My stomach keeps cramping. I'm sweaty. It's mostly nerves, I'm sure. But I leave the service portion of the exam knowing that I drowned in those last 16 minutes.
8. I eat some croquettes, drink Pinot Grigio from Mt. Etna, and then top it off with a cone of caramel ice cream and a bombolini from Bombobar. Try to sip on an iced-coffee to soothe the headache.
9. He passes and I fail. Only 6 out of 18 passed. I am one of the 12 that did not. But I am a strong candidate. Each one of the Masters tell me to do it again. They are always so encouraging. I will try to take it again before the end of the year.
10. You can tell fall is coming by the quality of the light. It's taken on this honeyed hue in the late evening.
Ten.Twenty-One
1. Dark skies make it hard to wake.
2. Black dress.
3. 10 years. How quickly the time passes. I can believe it but I can't.
4. Sets of espresso and cappuccino cups. Indigo ceramics. In this life, I'm determined to find ways to make the ordinary more magical. This is what I live for.
5. I also live for sunrises, sunsets, moody skies, linen, cotton, fresh flowers, dried eucalyptus, their smiles, a firm hand on the small of my back, hot coffee, good wine, the goat cheese croquettes from Barn Diva.
6. Silence.
7. Abundance. Community. Creativity. Curiosity. Inspiration. Grace. Gratitude.
8. Hibiscus flower. It's been imported from Australia and soaked in its own nectar and some sugar. It is delicate and delicious and sweet.
9. Bison hanger steak with pork cheek angnolotti, charred ramp butter, caramelized carrot puree, fresh peas, pickled garlic scape, and tangy veal jus. 2010 Chateau La Garde Pessac-Leognan.
10. Don P.X. Gran Reserva. 1986. My first sherry. I am in love.
The Thin Place
“ In thin places, we become our more essential selves.”
I don't always do a good job of explaining why I've become so attached to northern California. I mean, it's beautiful. Beyond beautiful, really. The air is clean and fresh. The color of the tomatoes brings tears to my eyes. I remember the one time, while walking down the street in St. Helena, how an orange rolled under the car. And I remember the way the soles of my converse conversed with the fallen olives, soft and hard.
California is where everything within me stills and the only voice I can here is my own. The only breath I'm aware of is my own. There is space for me there. Perhaps it's because I spend most of my time in the shadow of the mountains, deep in the valley, in awe of the way the sun rises and sets against the mountain peaks.
And so I share with you just a few of my moments from this past March, when the air was both warm and cool and the wild mustard bent in the breeze.
