Ten.Two Thousand, One Hundred & Seventy-Nine

1. Shoes are on by 5:30. The moon is still hanging above Mayacamas, pale yellow in color.

2. I don’t have to. I get to.

3. It seems as though everyone else is more excited about this than I am. It’s not the event—it’s the work required to get to the event on such short notice. I am not so good with last-minute plans.

4. I’ll take a chance with the white dress.

5. Tamales and rice and beans.

6. The replacement ride is missing a seat belt, and the chairs are broken. The smell of artificial cherry from the air freshener.

7. On my way to the bathroom, a tall kid in a white shirt asks me if I’m Dean’s mom. It takes me a minute to place the face. “Such a small world,” says someone else in a work vest. “Indeed, it is.”

8. Well. If you’re going to do it this way, this is how you do it.

9. Someone is not where they are supposed to be.

10. I think I still need to write a paper tomorrow.

Ten.Two Thousand, One Hundred & Seventy-Eight

1. Cold.

2. Too many outfit changes.

3. I remember to eat the avocado.

4. We talk until the phone begins to cut out on Petrified Forest Road. Something is better than nothing.

5. The views.

6. I get worried that I will get hangry and that they don’t know me well enough to be able to tell the difference between real anger and low blood sugar.

7. I’m glad I’ve allowed myself to be surprised.

8. Familiar faces.

9. It could only happen here.

10. The three of us walk out into the night under the light of the full moon.

Ten.Two Thousand, One Hundred & Seventy-Seven

1. I know I must get up when the birds are at their loudest.

2. A full pot.

3. What do we do now?

4. I forgot to eat my avocado, and I’m feeling it.

5. It’s closer than I think it is.

6. I leave the main lights off and tell her that my old office mate and I used to sit in the dark all the time. Sensitive? No. I don’t like artificial light, is all.

7. They say they have no time for any more appointments today. I tell her it looks like we’re going to Smith’s Pharmacy. She explains to me how to select the right press-on nails.

8. I don’t think you can write it this way.

9. She flips her phone camera to show one of the girls my nails.

10. I tell them that they are not a disappointment. They make disappointing decisions.

11. “Where there is no vision, the people perish…”

Ten.Two Thousand, One Hundred & Seventy-Six

1. Peonies opening.

2. Short pours of coffee.

3. South to go north, just to go south again.

4. We all want it to be easier than it actually is.

5. It is not until we start to cross the bridge when I remember that I forgot to turn off the oven this morning. “Well, at least I know the house isn’t on fire. The neighbors would have called me by now.”

6. The house smells of burned sugar. I tell him not to open the oven.

7. Hot.

8. I make there just in time to give them hugs and to see their at bats. “You look so much happier.” “I am.

9. This smell is never going to go away.

10. All clear.

Ten.Two Thousand, One Hundred & Seventy-Five

1. Monday, Monday, Monday.

2. The time will pass anyway.

3. It could be me, but I don’t think it is as hard as they think it needs to be.

4. Uh-oh.

5. I find a chair in the sun on the other side of the building. On the other side of the railing is a tiny block of vines. The sound of cars making their way up and down Highway 29.

6. “I don’t forget who I am.”

7. My last one as president.

8. I tell him that I miss my daily phone calls with Julie. My mornings are just not the same.

9. Be collaborative.

10. Almost.