Ten.Two Thousand, Two Hundred & Nine

1. Quiet.

2. I make sure to get the cobwebs before I lay on my back again in Savasana.

3. The short walk turns into a longer hike—steps and more steps. On the way back, I pick the most recently liked songs: July, II Most Wanted, Too Sweet, Lose Control. I spot a former colleague in the cart. He tells me he could hear me singing and to keep singing. I walk back home with the water, only a little embarrassed.

4. These gladiolas.

5. The last chapter.

6. Even though I get a little nervous with each fall, he clearly feels so much better. You can tell by how he is playing. He looks happy.

7. Ok. Maybe it will come together as intended.

8. I want a nap. I really want a nap. No time.

9. I just need one more day.

10. “I think you’re too nice.”

Ten.Two Thousand, Two Hundred & Eight

1. Day 1.

2. I gaze across the valley and set my eyes on the eastern ridge. I wish someone would just cut down those tall skeletal trees, those ghostly remains.

3. “This won’t last forever, but it’s wonderful while it’s happening.”

4. I look at my watch and realize it’s already after 9 o’clock. I am late.

5. I tell her that no, I have not yet found my Julie or Gracie or Cynthia.

6. He looks normal. Better than normal?

7. He introduces himself and says they will be coming to all of the games. That makes my heart happy.

8. A basket full of marinated meats and a block of maple walnut fudge.

9. He reminds me that it’s still early in the 5-year plan. All good things take time.

10. It’s still 94 degrees outside.

Ten.Two Thousand, Two Hundred & Seven

1. This low fog is a gift before the heat dumps in.

2. You don’t have to force it.

3. Both things can be true at once.

4. They sit down to eat bagels with cream cheese and watch X-Files.

5. These potatoes are really good: seasoned, and soft, and crunchy.

6. I forget that the bottle is sitting there and accidentally knock it off the chair. Green glass everywhere. The last little sludge of wine is deep, almost black against the dark slate tile.

7. No shade. The fronts of my legs are burning. I should have worn shorts. Maybe.

8. A few things about this: 1. These opponents are notorious for their poor sportsmanship. 2. It’s hot and that means it’s anger is easier to access.

9. But I would have wanted to punch him, too.

10. What is within my realm of influence?

Ten.Two Thousand, Two Hundred & Six

1. I miss those gladiolas.

2. The words, “you’re right,” escape from between my lips. But he is. Probably.

3. My body is not listening to my mind. My feet keep walking toward the coffee machine even though I know I shouldn’t have anymore.

4. Maybe this is my own version of a midlife crisis.

5. …a bias towards action.

6. Embrace.

7. The little things that add up into big things if you don’t fix them now.

8. In one take.

9. You’re only nervous because you care.

10. “Who I am transcends what I am.”

Ten.Two Thousand, Two Hundred & Five

1. The weird thing about summer is sometimes not knowing what day it is.

2. I am having another coffee because it’s there and I will fall asleep if I don’t.

3. Just three of us for lunch at the picnic table. I try to warm my legs on the little bit of bench lit by the sun.

4. We laugh about Crocs and how awful they were when they originally came out. And how it’s so uncool to wear socks with them.

5. Snack shack garlic fries and cold ankles.

6. She tells me that she thinks I can do it. I almost start to say something about how many signs I’m being given from the universe.

7. Less. More.

8. Three times during warm-ups he says.

9. No really, I won’t have any more after today.

10. That full moon.