Ten.One Hundred & Sixteen

1. My body is fighting with me. I don’t want to get up. I feel like I need a whole day of sleep. 

2. This is the thing about leaving: having to come back without (yet) a system that eases the transition.  

3. But Tuesday’s are my favorite days.  

4. We talk about the importance of ritual and I think of how I can begin to incorporate something for myself and for the children.  

5. I need a new planner.  

6. I have returned to find that the treetops have now yellowed, and that some of the limbs have already been shaken bare. Little blankets of wet leaves line the roads. Yes, everything is changing. 

7. Beaujolais at lunch.  

8. Ham and potato soup made with stock of ham hock and collards. It’s earthy and savory and rich. But I had promised myself I’d cut back on the dairy. There’s always tomorrow.  

9. We gather. There’s almost 20 of us in total and we read and write and share. I forgot about how much joy this brings me. I am taking note.  

10. I keep saying that I just need to get through today. But that doesn’t feel like living.