Ten.One Hundred & Ninety-Two
1. 4:58 am. It must be nerves.
2. It's the first day back and since I am cultivating ease, it's frozen waffles and fruit for breakfast.
3. I am in this shirt that is too low-cut for normal wear, if I'm honest with myself. But I love its texture. It's shiny and smooth and falls pleasantly.
4. Traffic into the city can be so unpredictable. I am 40 minutes early for today's shoot. I sit in the car and finish a few podcast episodes. Watch the students walk on sidewalks turning from snow to slush in the morning sun. Everything is a little golden.
5. On to the next.
6. They must not see very many black women at this particular Starbucks. Everyone turns to look at me when I walk in. Caramel Macchiato and back out the door I go humming Demi Levato.
7. Maybe it's because I was humming Demi Levato too loudly?
8. It doesn't even matter.
9. We ask one another what it looks like to be free, to live from the sacral energy, to be the embodiment of bold expression, to be able to be in a feeling state without being overrun with emotion.
10. Sometimes a name or a photo from the past pops up and you know that what you thought had been buried and covered over, blessed and healed, is still a tender wound.
10.1 I believe in signs. I always have. And I believe in the interconnectedness of things—that sometimes there is an inextricable link to a place or a person. That for some reason, things return to you. And that sometimes it's to show you how far you've come. And maybe sometimes it's to show you how far you still have to go. Or maybe, sometimes it's to show you that it's okay. That in this case, you had been right all along and that, at least in instance, there is no such thing as severance.