Ten.Four Hundred & Forty-Seven

1. I can’t sleep. There is too much to do.

2. I clean out the bottom drawer, wipe down the inside with a wet wash cloth. This is the only kind of cleaning I can do until everyone wakes up. I have only two hours to get all of this done. I try to remind myself that it doesn’t have to be perfect.

3. It will be a long day.

4. Her vision did change and so she picks out a pair of bold frames: navy ombre Ray Bans. I wish I had glasses this cool when I was her age. I always remember this bit of advice I read in someone’s book where they say a prayer of gratitude when they pay a bill. I say a prayer of gratitude as she swipes the card to pay for the exam and the frames; gratitude for having the abundance to care of this for her because I remember the years when I we wouldn’t have been able to.

5. We settle on pizza for lunch. It’s a beautiful day: sunny and breezy and just warm enough to walk without sweating.

6. Our old Target is now a fancy Target. The kind of Target you could get lost in. The kids say they wish they still lived in Naperville so that this could be our Target. This is the problem with bringing them back: They always talk about how they wish we never had to leave.

7. The park is quiet because everyone else is in school. The boys play with the soccer ball, and she and I sit on the swings. We try to play with the Frisbee but the wind is too strong.

8. We see our old friends. It’s a good day for a visit. It feels like we’ve been gone much longer than a year. There are faces I don’t recognize. There will never be another school like this.

9. I keep checking my phone. I am trying not to obsess but I am because how could I not?

10. I tell him that I’m really grateful that some of the hard work we put in with the kids during those early years gave me children that I could hang out with today. I told him we should pat ourselves on the back because the three of them are really amazing and I’m glad to be their mother.