Ten.Four Hundred & Fifty-Three

1. Cleaning day plus dentist day.

2. My feeds are full of women supporting women and that feels powerful. And yet I am also discouraged, once again. I think of the women who call themselves feminists but don’t bring that same rage and urgency to issues of race. I’m hoping that as time continues to pass, that we begin to truly believe that no one is free if everyone isn’t free. Our liberation is tied together.

3. I do a quick breathing meditation before I get in the dentist chair. This has been one of the more helpful tools in navigating the anxiety around dental work.

4. I get to decide who I want to be.

5. I step into the store and feel at home again. I miss this place. I find cinnamon brooms to scent the kitchen and my bedroom, some eucalyptus for the rooms upstairs, a butternut squash and some vegetable stock because I feel like making soup.

6. I toss open the windows and let in the fresh air. This is my favorite season. This is the season when I am overcome with the desire to cut things away. I am making a list in my mind of what needs to go: Facebook, self-doubt, superficial relationships (either I am ready to invest my time and self in them or it’s best to step back), television…

7. The watermelons are probably ready. There are three of them, deep emerald green with a cream-colored patch on their underside. The worms ate the remaining stubs of lettuce. The strawberry plant is growing tendrils and broadening its leaves. There are more and more peppers.

8. Quiet.

9. I feel like nothing is happening. I feel like everything is happening all at once.

10. Deeper work is calling.