Ten.Seven Hundred & Ten

1. I should probably take these after I eat. No, I’ll be okay. I’ll just eat some grapes.

2. I don’t feel so good. It must be the zinc. That’s the only thing that’s new.

3. I listen to her voice memo and then I think of “The Big Leap.”

4. “The goal in life is not to attain some imaginary ideal; it is to find and fully use our own gifts.” - The Big Leap

5. Her voice. And then the voices of her children in the background. My people. We talk while I fold laundry. The stacks of napkins keep falling over. We are wondering the same things about life right now: How are we able to be whole persons unto ourselves?

6. I pull the hammock into a thin rectangle of shade on the patio. I’m careful to not swing too much and rub up against the side of the house. My brother and I talk for an hour. He offers to make me a bracelet. I tell him to just make it all black.

7. Almost 100.

8. Next week. Next week.

9. The list isn’t getting longer. Life is getting wider.

10. Can barely keep my eyes open. He says it might be the heat. I tell him I’ve barely been outside. He says it’s the stress. That I don’t think I’m stressed but I really am. I think it might be the coffee. It might be time for a break.