Ten.Eight Hundred & Ten

1. One big deep breath

2. Sore throat. I ask him to get some emergen-c in addition to the bacon and hash browns. I will not get sick. I will not get sick.

3. The little bit of comfort in knowing that I cleaned the bathrooms yesterday which means I don’t have to clean them again today before our guests arrive.

4. But the basket are just filled with trash. Literal trash. I don’t know how to help her.

5. She asks for a trash can in her room. That’s a start.

6. There are about 8 different types of tomatoes to choose from. I have her get the corn while I selected some heirlooms. We see a box of prickly pear fruit and pick one, just one, to give it a try. Oh, and more asian pears. “It feels like we’re in the middle of nowhere but we’re so close to home.”

7. I couldn’t resist the pumpkins. Even though it’s going to be 92 today, I just needed some mums.

8. I take the broom and brush away the cobwebs and dried leaves and dirt. I stack the pumpkins and flowers by the front door. That’s better.

9. The chicken is a little salty but I”m okay with that.

10. There. That was good. Our first time hosting a family of one of the kid’s friends. And everything seemed to go okay.

11. Making friends as an adult is so much harder. We all come new relationships with old wounds. Sometimes we do a better job at not letting those old wounds get in the way of establishing connection. Sometimes it just takes a big effort on your part to be vulnerable and open. Sometimes it will work out and sometimes it won’t. Remembering that part of the process is just trying and releasing judgement of the end result. I will always keep trying.