Ten.Eight Hundred & Thirteen

1. It feels too early. 4:12 am. It is.

2. I just want to try to sleep for the next hour but it’s not coming. I just keep thinking and thinking.

3. I have enough time to drink an espresso. I take my mug to the chair in the corner and stare out the window. “There’s water all over the floor!”

4. We use every towel and then I realize that we don’t have nearly enough towels. This is just my life right now. Overflowing. It’s literal a symbol of my life. I’m not even upset about it. It just is. On the plus side, the floors really did need to be mopped.

5. Lack of communication.

6. Everyone who enters keeps saying that the door is hot. I remind myself to use my back to push the door in. Easy fix.

7. Finally found the water.

8. Did I make a mistake? I made a mistake. But it doesn’t really matter.

9. She comes with me to run the errands. She asks me what the wood is for and what we’ll make and what food we’ll eat. One of these days I’ll bring her with me.

10. I re-listen to our conversation. I need to take my own advice.

11. “The state of the mother is the the state of the family.” - Adrienne Marie Brown