Ten.Eight Hundred & Thirty

1. Almost 8. Just as tired as I thought I was.

2. I feel so much further from home than I actually am and this is something I’m beginning to love about California. I need only to drive a few hours in either direction to be in another world.

3. We camp out at a table and wait for coffee. Home fries and eggs and bacon, an English muffin. I suggest we buy a pastry just so we can justify taking up the table for another 45 minutes. It’s light and airy, sticky but not too sweet, walnuts instead of pecans. I pull off a chunk to eat in the car.

4. Once you decide to really look, you realize there was nothing to be afraid of after all.

5. Wilder Beach. Coastal Bluff trail. I am always under-prepared for these kinds of excursions. From now on, always plan for lots of walking on uneven ground. I will never not want to be by the water or under the trees.

6. Collage by the pool. It is empty. The smell of chlorine wafting up the nose between sips of lemonade.

7. Shackteau Grenache.

8. Make it a priority. Must make it a priority.

9. We order the Domaine Laroche and a few bites of seafood but decide that we’re too offended by everything that’s going on to stay here for an entree. Whereas dinner the night before was of good value and excellent quality, this is feeling forced and obscene. Expensive for the sake of being expensive is a quick way to go out of business.

10. When you can go to sleep feeling accomplished, maybe even proud of the way in which you discovered that after 12 years, all things considered, you’ve been making your way just fine. I think of that Shania Twain song. “Looks like we made it.” I love the life we’ve been able to create together. Has it been easy? No. Is it perfect? No. But our mutual abilities to grow, be curious, and apply new knowledge surely does help to steady the ship.