Ten.Eight Hundred & Forty-Three

1. 6 am wake feels luxurious. I might be more tired than I am. I might not actually be a morning person at all any more. Or maybe I just need 3 days of nothing but sleep. I do believe there’s a such thing as catching up on rest.

2. I sit on the floor of the closet and do some breathing exercises. 5 minutes makes a difference.

3. I wash dishes and he takes the kids to school. I finally pour myself a cup of coffee. What next, what next? Journal.

4. Single-task mind.

5. Curled up beneath the blue blanket at the end of the sofa. I close the book and look out of the window. Done with the book. Sad that these little sips of delight are over. Committed to refocusing on beauty hunting.

6. The moderator is introducing folks and giving thanks to donors and my body tingles with tears. And then my body does the same thing again as he introduces the speakers and there a round of applause. I think to myself how the body and the heart are funny things. Why is this making me cry? Maybe it’s something else that’s making me cry. Maybe I just need to cry and for whatever reason someone else’s expression of gratitude is moving me. I will delight in this.

7. The colors of early afternoon are so different from the colors of morning.

8. “How will we be together?”

9. Sometimes I just can’t decide.

10. Sometimes it just takes a while to find your groove.