Ten.Eight Hundred & Seventy

1. More wind. Even stronger? The sound of palm fronds entangling themselves.

2. Muffin-tin hash browns. Turns out only one of the boys like them. I got it wrong.

3. Today will be a short day in the office but only because of this meeting for which I am excited but also dreading.

4. I pull out the camera because I miss making. Because making soothes me. Because I just needed 10 minutes to create for myself and myself only.

5. Because I’m trying not to put too much pressure on myself and my art at this moment, trying to be patient with whatever the next iteration is while also worrying that if I stop completely, I’ll be become frozen.

6. What to do?

7. I try to push away the thought that maybe we were being extreme. No, this is just caring. This is just us knowing that there is a disconnect. This is just us making sure that everyone is being held accountable because this is a team effort. I want to see the trajectory shift. There is time, but there isn’t. Also: if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck…

8. It still kills me that he’s the only one in the family who will not touch the risotto and salmon with buerre rouge. I mean.

9. I drank too slowly at dinner and only got one glass of the Chateau de Bligny Brut Rosé Champagne.

10. I needed this conversation with Lola. I didn’t realize I needed it. There’s a certain kind of medicine in being asked questions about yourself. Your mouth opens and reveals to you the things you didn’t know you thought or the things you needed to remember.