Ten.Eight Hundred & Seventy-Eight

1. I see the door open and a little face peak through. I can tell by the way the light is falling into the room that I’ve slept in again.

2. Homemade banana bread toasted with a thick smear of butter, hot coffee.

3. I realize how much of that anger I’m still holding. I realize that it’s partly out of this fear of not being perceived as good enough (hello perfectionism and messages from the dominant culture).

4. I light all the candles and settle into a corner of the sofa. He brings me a short pour of sparkling Rosé. I flip open the latest issue of Fast Company.

5. I think about writing.

6. I can feel the excitement in my body as the dough gives a proper rise. I am grateful for the time and space to cook and make at my own speed. I remember how much I do enjoy cooking, an active meditation.

7. The cheesy cabbage gratin is everything I wanted it to be.

8. I think about how I thought about writing and how no writing was done. I decide to not beat myself up about it to much.

9. She has a good vibe.

10. Settling the body.