Ten.Eight Hundred & Eighty-Six

1. Why do I keep scratching my face with this nub of a pencil?

2. Oh Christmas tree.

3. I set to making the scones. Shred the butter, mix in the cream, add vanilla and some cinnamon. The feel of the dough in my hand. I miss the days of Thanksgiving with its slowness. When, finally, cooking didn’t feel like a chore but a meditation.

4. Bad Questions. Right Questions. Real Questions. It’s the Real Question that shifts everything.

5. I forgot the glass jars. And what was I thinking? Green on green? I wasn’t. This is what happens when you don’t have a list.

6. I write out the to-dos for the day. I timed almost everything just right but there is more list than time today. I don’t stress out about it. I remind myself that none of this is life or death. It’s meant to be fun.

7. I think she’s doing what I think she’s doing. I laugh. I don’t worry because I know that there is proof that I made the originals.

8. Humans are so interesting.

9. She wraps the jars of fudge while I wrap the glasses. We drop them into the bags. She adds a club brochure then helps me tie the ornaments and recipe cards to the small bags of mulled wine. 30 gift bags take up a lot of room in a tiny car.

10. But you still have to do the work.