Already?

I hear one of the alarm clocks going off. I ask him why he’s already awake and then realize that it’s 7am.

I scroll through the old messages in the ipad and find Ryan’s number and message him. We makes plans to catch up soon. Friday seems good.

Sometimes it feels as though my greatest weakness is Indecision.

His name is actually available on gmail and so I make him take it. Because he’s too young to understand the importance of understanding digital real estate.

Everything must be approved by me. That makes me feel a little better even though they feel inconvenienced.

I think I might like it because it’s mostly white.

He asks me for access to tiktok. “What we’ve begun to learn about kids your age, and even kids older than you, is that access to social media seems to increase rates of suicide and bullying. And so while, yes, it is a form of connection, it is also has some negative aspects to it and we don’t feel you’re old enough for it yet and therefore…” He throws his head back and lets out one of those preteen sighs. “I get it.” Good.

I tell him that one of my goals for 2020 is to find a friend that I really want to hang out with who also actually lives close to me. Oakland, Napa, Sonoma…just too far for a drop-in, a post-work drink, a last-minute coffee date.

It’s funny how every time we go and look at a house, we come back to this one and think that it’s really not so bad. Like, we could make it work. And, also, I’m not really interested in moving again any time soon.