Ten.Nine Hundred & Ninety-Six

1. Thursday. Right? Yes. Thursday.

2. Cold air creeping in from her open window. I try to shut it as quietly as possible.

3. Green sweater. I remember wearing this to work one day, and his jeans, when I was pregnant with the oldest. Still just as cozy.

4. Snail medicine.

5. It’s hard for me to ask questions in this way. And I probably really already know the answer which is that there is no answer. But always trying.

6. I take my phone call out to the patio. I know it’s barely 50 degrees but in the sun it feels so good. I lean my head back into the sun.

7. No, this still isn’t it.

8. No cream. No parmesan.

9. “When I get older…well, if I get to be older because the world might end too soon…” I try not to spit out the pizza. I look over at him and he’s also laughing. But then I wonder what he’s listening to and who’s he talking to that’s telling him that this is the end of the world. Or does he just know what it means when I say that maybe this is the apocalypse? He is pretty smart. Also, he’s not wrong but I hope he is.

10. I sit on the floor of the living room because it has the best light. I flip through magazines to find the right words, the right images to represent what I’m feeling. Farm. Comfort. Feel light transformed. Craft. Where community comes first. word. Independent, adventurous, gracious, and glorious. The art of not compromising.

11. Two whole Liberty Ducks. Raft Sangiovese and Syrah. Shop local. Alternative communities. We could do it differently if people weren’t so scared.