Ten.One Thousand, Two Hundred & Eighty-Six

1. In the dream, we have somehow ended up in the same town, in the same hotel. We act as if we don’t know one another. I have somehow fixed it in my head that everything will change if they eat my food. I will feed them until the feeling returns.

2. 3:35 am.

3. What would one thousand, two hundred, and eighty-five of these look like printed out? I should try it.

4. Blueberry scones because there is time. Bread for them because there is time. I had told him that the best thing about 3:30 am is the quiet that I have for my self.

5. He says he’s not eating the scones. I tell him that the reason I put blueberries in them is because the last time I made scones, they were plain and HE ASKED ME FOR BLUEBERRIES! “I made these specifically for you!”

6. “And it is not the kind of unlocking that causes everything to rush through in a torrent. This time it is a slow and steady burning. For the first time in a long time, I am not afraid of it.” - Note to self 1/13/21

7. Resistance.

8. OMG teenagers. Also: I’m really becoming an adult. Look at me complaining about teenagers.

9. Everything I expected and also nothing like what I expected.

10. I hope he loses his ticklishness.