Ten.One Thousand, Three Hundred and Seven

1. First thought: I need to say no.

2. I think of the writing session and the talk about patterns and the snarl in a pattern. What patterns do I wish to continue? Where are the snarls? Do the snarls point me toward a better solution?

3. Hashbrowns and bacon and V8. I forgot to buy tea from the grocery store yesterday. Or, maybe I should just fork over the money for Mudwater. Or, maybe I will just keep drinking warm water.

4. Sun, sun, sun.

5. Clean.

6. l ride with him to pick the kids up because I need to get out of the house. As in, my spirit is agitated, and this is what will fix it. Or maybe it’s because I didn’t journal this morning.

7. I say something about having wanted to be a good artist. She corrects me. She is right. I do make art. But there are other kinds of art I wish I were good at making. Sculpture, for one. Weaving. Painting. Drawing. Printmaking.

8. He orders the tacos, and I grab the Canela and yerba mate.

9. They tell us that the lockdown was so strict that you couldn’t even walk your dog. Couldn’t even be in your own yard. And to think how Americans feel so disenfranchised by a mask.

10. She tells me that she cannot kill the snails in her garden because of me, even though she would like to.

11. Finally, the mail. A sweet package from her. “I do miss my friends, too,” I say. “I miss them a lot.”