Ten.One Thousand, Five Hundred & Fifty

1. In the dream, she has died and I am crying. But the cries are not just tears, they are more like wails. Dry, guttural wails. And gasps. I wake up.

2. I text her that I need five more minutes to make the coffee.

3. 6am calls where you remember that you are not alone in your feelings of things. And isn’t that the point of community: to not feel alone?

4. In downward dog, I glance underneath my armpit and see a large cream-colored bird on the branch. I bend awkwardly to see it more clearly. Most likely a hawk.

5. We sit in lotus and I watch the way the morning light casts a glow on the wood and fireplace. Sincere gratitude. I remember that we were not here this time last year.

6. They are delightful and we probably could have talked for two more hours. I am sad that I must go.

7. We accomplish a lot in 50-minute meeting.

8. I will never tire of exploring the landscape of this place.

9. Who knew he could punt?

10. “You have to come and coach in this place?” Yes.

11. “You look weird,” she says. I stop. I start to get angry. I look at her. I realize that I am staring at a little girl no more than four years old. I say nothing and continue toward the bathroom. When I exit the bathroom, someone above me yells “hey.” I am not looking forward to coming back here.