Ten.One Thousand, Seven Hundred & Seventy-Two
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Bright golden light. The sound of the coffee percolating. Sweet bird song.
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Tuesday. I shift plans so that I can be in attendance.
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Selfishly, I’d love to have met them, but it is not right for the business.
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I use their name and speak excitedly because I know they know about the show. They ignore me. It takes me a few more attempts to realize that a grown adult is giving me the silent treatment, all because I challenged a thought.
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But it’s not that I challenged this one thought. It’s because I challenge them consistently. Always respectfully, but I challenge nonetheless. I remind myself that no one likes to hear no. I remind myself that this is more about them and not me. I remind myself that dynamics are challenging because of the complexity of human experience. I remind myself that I don’t have to erode my own boundaries for the comfort of others.
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Productive.
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Is this real? Another one? Another one? Where are we truly safe?
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This man has no clue. He has a viewpoint but no clue. No empathy. These words are cloaked in racism and the fact that he’s been tutoring Hispanic youth is not evidence that he lacks bias. In fact, his questioning around equity shows that he has no concept of bias. But he truly believes he is right. I tell her that his ignorance does not make him a bad person, but his unwillingness to question his thinking is the problem.
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At the end, a mother I do not know says she is happy to hear about the new policies being developed. Because her daughter is starting to feel like she doesn’t belong and that means she was considering leaving town. But knowing that the community is working on something like this makes her feel better. This one family, this one child - this is why we’ve been working so hard.
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A loss under the hot evening sun.
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Lady Saints win! 2-1 in the bottom of the 7th.
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I tell him that the earlier events of the day irritated me, but that I realized that it doesn’t matter. In the grand scheme of things, my work doesn’t matter. What matters is the impact I have on the young ladies I coach. What matters is the impact I have on my community when I realize that the work I’m doing with other parents provides a sense of safety and belonging for another child. That matters. That’s all that matters.