Ten.One Thousand, Seven Hundred & Ninety-Six

1. I like this waking up with the natural light thing.

2. Curled up on the chair, sitting in the sunlight, sorting emails.

3. What is at the root of all of these feelings?

4. Trying to fake it as best as I can.

5. I can’t.

6. I stand there in the room with the camera in my hand. I can’t remember where my bag is. I keep looking and looking. He asks me if I’m okay. I tell him there is just too much going on in my head, but now I remember where I left it.

7. I wander through the parking lot. I cannot remember where I parked today. I cut across, stepping over rocks and walking through the mulch. He sees me again. “First I couldn’t find the bag. Now I cannot find the car! Just one of those days,” I tell him. He laughs with me.

8. I remove it from the rack and hold it out in front of me. The Kimono is long and structured. I call it a piece of art. I slip it on. They tell me it looks perfect. It feels right. It feels like home.

9. I take a moment and stare out over the deck railing. A small fox is out by the willow tree. I wonder if it is our friend from earlier this summer.

10. But wouldn’t it be nice to get back to a place where I did want to be with people more?