No decaf at home. Half hot water, half coffee. Hungry for something that I cannot find.

So much sun. I write and rewrite the affirmations until I feel as bright as the morning light.

The to-do list is long but doable.

I see the commentary about Angel Reese. I said exactly this to him last night, “But would you have said that if she were white? Or a man? Catelyn has been doing that gesture in all of the games. All of them.”

I think I need to remember the rules:

1. “I coach what I believe.”

2. “To be a leader, you have to be brave.”

3. “Own it.”

4. “Mountain tops are small, and the air is thin.”

5. “Understand your audience.”

6. “Never be afraid to get fired.”

7. “Mistakes are inevitable, but don’t let them define you.”

8. “Everything depends on you, and when you start to think like that, everything is magic.”

9. “What is delayed is not denied.”

I tell her that I’m not so good at spontaneity, but I’m trying. Sometimes it’s good to have it forced upon you.

I am in the place I was in before I wrote the affirmations.

I think about it all from my perspectives as a coach, as a Black woman, as a Black woman raising a Black daughter. I think about how sad it is that this is still the world in which we live. In so many ways, nothing has changed.

I tell him that I feel like I’m being punished for being who I am and not being afraid.

I think of what I told him some weeks or months ago: I’m not going to let anyone make me run away from our dream.