I close my eyes and try to find my balance, try to accept that the body isn’t doing what I want it to do.

The crackle of the fire.

Film study.

I prep the chicken pot pie, subbing leeks for onions, chopping the carrot, and poaching the chicken—a few sprinkles of turmeric give the roux a golden hue.

Rejection.

How is it that they’ve had all day and still, we are rushing.

Ambitious goals.

They ask me to slide in some teams that are easy wins to build their confidence. “You see, the thing is, I think you can beat these teams. These are wins to me.”

I go to shake the other coach’s hand at the end of the game. He pulls me close and tells me what I’ve done with the program in two years is impressive and that I should be proud.

Progress over perfection.