Ten.Two Thousand & Six
Do I, or don’t I?
What would future me thank the present me for?
I open up the windows and look out into the thick fog.
I can tell when he is in a good mood. I like him when he is in a good mood. I like him always, but I really like him when he’s smiling.
This music.
I am trying to keep my eyes on the road, but they keep looking out at the flat blue sky and the hillsides and the vines.
I tell him that believe it or not, it could be worse.
I tell him that I think people were staring at me, but that was the point of the shirt - to get attention. “Watch more women’s basketball.”
I ask myself why I keep thinking about the demise of this relationship. It’s because I am grieving its potential. It’s because I am sad that we couldn’t make it to another conversation. And then I wonder if we’re really throwing away something that could have been great because no one is willing to talk about their hurt feelings or the misunderstanding. If that is the case, then maybe there wasn’t a foundation for real friendship after all.
Juicy.
