Ten.Two Thousand, Two Hundred & Nine

1. Bacon and waffles and coffee.

2. I try to be quiet as I make the fire, but the roar of the gas lighter is loud. The girls start to stir.

3. Better today than yesterday.

4. “Tomorrow is Day One.”

5. My heart sinks a bit, but I’m not going to give up. I never do.

6. The answer is still the same.

7. He always finds a job, and I can’t imagine that playing basketball in Nice could be that bad.

8. Reluctantly giving away my trophy.

9. Finally full.

10. The sound of rain.

Ten.Two Thousand, Two Hundred & Eight

1. More logs. More fire. Dark start to the morning.

2. Weak coffee. Hungry stomach.

3. Oat Hill. An overcast sky. Muddy rocks and the sound of water dripping out of the mountain side. The views.

4. She tells me to be patient. To wait for the one I want.

5. He uses the word grief. He is right. This week, I felt like I’ve lost all of my connections…all of the people who make everything here so much more bearable.

6. I pour some chili into a cappuccino mug. Where are all the bowls?

7. We talk about crunchy grapes. She gives me a hard time about eating the snacks. I tell her about my 8 mile hike. I need the snacks.

8. I needed to cry.

9. Finally. The “yes” I’ve been waiting for.

10. You can’t do it all alone.

11. “There is no easy button.”

12. “Sometimes, you’re the dog. Sometimes, you’re the hydrant.”

Ten.One Thousand, Two Hundred & Seven

1. Another log.

2. He says something about us not having a good night's sleep. No, not for me. Not for me.

3. It says it’s only 72 in here, but it feels like 82.

4. Smooth electronica and the sound of woodpeckers knocking against the side of the building.

5. I think I might be able to walk to work when the weather is better - but before rattlesnake season.

6. I’m sold already, even though I know he’s trying to sell me. This is the right time. B.A. and A.A.

7. My face.

8. This is hard, but we’ve done hard things, which means we can do harder things.

9. Deja vu.

10. This must be the year of the 3-2 zone.

Ten.Two Thousand, Two Hundred & Six

1. I need to break this habit.

2. Leftover roasted zucchini for breakfast and a few bites of bacon. Should probably quit the coffee.

3. Is anyone going to see me with these crocs on my feet?

4. I wouldn’t mind delaying this a little longer.

5. It could be worse, but it’s not bad. At least there’s a deck. And there’s plenty of natural light. But something about this place feels very isolated. And what about the rattlesnakes in summer? Hopefully, I won’t have to worry about it.

6. We can. We should. But I really never know.

7. I could cry. I remember how he said that I just need to focus on the positive.

8. “Suggestions on how to survive a long losing streak?”

9. What is it really?

10. He says, “the future for you is bright, though.” It is, it is.

Ten.Two Thousand, Two Hundred & Five

1. I don’t want to go.

2. When you get to the point where there’s no filter.

3. She asks me what snacks I want. I tell her it doesn’t matter anymore; tomorrow is my last day.

4. Will they try harder with a new face there?

5. It feels good to say, “No. We raised over $7,000.” Too late for your help now.

6. Warm-ups and bags ordered! A win.

7. I tell her about how we saw him at Azteca and how he asked what our favorite tacos are, and then she came into the gym with two tacos. “We must be doing something right.”

8. I just never know and that’s the thing that scares me.

9. “You’re right. That’s the wrong reason.”

10. But it’s never really over.