Ten.One Thousand, One Hundred & Fifty-Five
Waking up to the sound of rain.
A meditation. I opt for no words, just the sound of a gong and ocean waves.
I slip protein powder and a liquid immunity booster into the smoothie. “Is this the same fruit you usually use?” “It tastes a little different.” “The texture is not the same.” “I put protein powder in it. And it has kale.”
Jokes.
Ray Ray’s Tacos. Shrimp. Brisket. Queso. I hope she does well.
I tell myself that it could be worse. And then I think of what she would say to me: “Why is it that we should settle for what we don’t want because ‘it could be worse?’”
Call in what you want.
I always laugh when I’m with her.
Okay, okay. Tri-tip tastes good.
This is not going to be easy, but it is necessary.
Ten.One Thousand, One Hundred & Fifty-Four
In this instance, I don’t think the dream is going to come true.
A meditation while lying in bed.
We decide I should make it a priority not to let the chaos get to me.
Sometimes, the best response is no response.
Sunshine.
It’s still not available.
Chocolate cake. I tell her I don’t like chocolate cake. I only like my mom’s German Chocolate Cake. She asks if it’s a family recipe. I tell her it comes from the box of the baker’s chocolate but people do act like it’s some special recipe. It’s just that good.
A lot of sighing while emptying the dishwasher and something about someone not rinsing the avocado off their dish.
Everyone is looking for something sweet but settling for air-popped popcorn.
I need to take notes.
Ten.One Thousand, One Hundred & Fifty-Three
4:08 a.m. Which means it’s really 3:08 a.m. I better try hard to go back to sleep.
Dream two is another version of the first dream, but more complete.
I text her about the dream. I tell her I wonder if it means that what I think is not actually what I want.
Today, I think I look like a mom.
He tells me that I only have nine things for my Ten Things. I briefly consider editing it and adding one more, but then I remember that the whole point of it is an exercise in being human and humans make mistakes.
Dreamspace.
All. of. the. music.
You can see it all over his face.
German Chocolate Cake Tillamook Ice Cream?
Sunday scaries.
Ten.One Thousand, One Hundred & Fifty-Two
She asks me what I’m doing at the grocery store so early. I glance down and see it’s 6 a.m.
An unripened avocado.
“Back in January 2023, she postd these bold black-and-white letters in the corner of her vision board: In the end they’ll judge you anyway, so do what you want.”
AAU Bingo.
Fruit cut and a kale crisp salad. And french fries, because why not?
One more game. I watch the opposing team warming up. I think we can get this one.
A win on a 3-pointer with 1.1 seconds to go.
It’s almost time to begin.
Italian wedding soup.
Ten.One Thousand, One Hundred & Fifty-One
Friiiiday.
The warmth of the morning light.
He starts trying to break eggs, but he has no shirt on and has a pair of socks stuck underneath his armpit. I tell him to put his shirt on first before he starts cooking.
He’s still shoeless, stuffing bits of scrambled egg between slices of bacon.
I yell at everyone to get out of the house and then realize I’m still going to be the last one in the car because I can’t find my keys.
The font.
I ask him if there’s any way I can get around paying for shipping since, technically, the P.O. Box is right here. He charges me the media rate and then walks the package over to the shelf.
Balloons and sparkling wine and DIY flower arrangements. A good way to end a Friday
I tell her that there will be more. That I am trying to find ways to bring some joy back into my life.
It’s almost time.