Ten.One Thousand, One Hundred & Sixty

1. Slow beginnings.

2. Each time I look at the clock, I am surprised by how much time has passed.

3. It’s going to be one of those games, I see.

4. I tell him that I like reading, that I find it interesting. He looks at his friend and tells him I’m crazy.

5. I drag the chair into the sun and settle in, rolling up my pant legs to feel the heat on my skin.

6. I am going to finish this before the family call. I will. I will.

7. Headache. Dehydrated? Allergies? Too much reading on the screen? All of the above?

8. Learn something new every day.

9. Chicken pot pie.

10. I did it.

Ten.One Thousand, One Hundred & Fifty-Nine

1. Is it already time?

2. Hotel room coffee while waiting for them to finish getting ready.

3. We drive to the grocery store. The roads have many lanes. In the distance are green rolling hills and a hazy morning sky. It makes me miss East Bay living for just a moment. Quiet, suburban, clean, and almost sterile feel familiar and easy.

4. Glorious sun.

5. Keep your expectations low and be open to being surprised.

6. A bit of a reality check that many of these kids probably needed to hear.

7. The thing is that we still have time. There is still plenty of time.

8. I will retreat this meal.

9. Forgot how much I love “Hopelessly Devoted.”

10. Two glasses of Massican Annia, fried cauliflower, french fries with black truffle, and thinking about neutrons.

Ten.One Thousand, One Hundred & Fifty-Eight

1. The wind.

2. Still not over this little flower arrangement and the way it glows in the morning light.

3. I make the bacon but forget to make the potatoes. He says something about the texture of the smoothie again. “Raspberry seeds and protein powder, this time,” I say.

4. There is just a lot that needs to get done today.

5. Almost laughable.

6. He says he doesn’t like it, but he’s always smiling as he walks off the field.

7. Just the four of us and a lot of red meat and a lot of laughter.

8. Portugal?

9. I think this is the right thing to do.

10. I’ll survive.

Ten.One Thousand, One Hundred & Fifty-Seven

1. The darkness.

2. Sweaterdress. Spring is almost here.

3. An avocado before the first sip of coffee.

4. The way the wind is blowing through the trees makes me think of fire.

5. I see the feather and think about stopping to collect it, but I change my mind. And then there is another. And another. Am I on the right path?

6. I ask him about the rattlesnakes. He hesitates.

7. “If you don’t believe in yourself, how will somebody else believe in you?”

8. Week 1 - done.

9. Sun. More and more questions float in on the winds. Noticing that I am not fully present. Timelines and deadlines are stacked on one another. Something will suffer.

10. Logistics.

Ten.One Thousand, One Hundred & Fifty-Six

1. Not a good night of sleep.

2. I choose a meditation on non-judgement.

3. These questions are very deep for not having had any coffee yet.

4. He says that none of the pants fit. I didn’t think they would. Those legs are just too long.

5. She asks me if she can borrow my flares. I guess it’s good that she asked me instead of just going into my closet and taking them.

6. I tell her that my goal today is to make it through the meeting without making a face while on camera.

7. It was the mediation in non-judgement.

8. So much sun. So much warmth. Coffee on the deck soon. Bugs soon. Rattlesnakes and lizards soon.

9. “Everyone liked my jeans.” “You mean everyone likes my jeans.”

10. They get it.