alisha sommer 6/1/24 alisha sommer 6/1/24

Ten.Two Thousand, One Hundred & Eighty-Seven

First day of June.
I keep losing my phone, which is only a problem because I am trying to turn off this podcast.
Chai latte and a long walk around town, talking about life and kids and coaches and things learned.
The gift of sweet cherries.
Parents vs. Kids. Suited up in my oldest’s old little league All-Star jersey, hanging on the dugout fence. Wishing I could have played. There actually is still time for that.
She says that she knows I’ve missed her being at the house so much, but not to worry - summer is coming.
As I unload the groceries, I see doubles and triples of things. We must not be home much these days, though that is sure to change.
Tired but unable to take a nap.
It’s been a long time since I’ve seen green on the monitor. I guess that means it’s working.
Fresh sheets and a bed all to my self. Still, I turn down only my half of the bed and slide in.

alisha sommer 5/31/24 alisha sommer 5/31/24

Ten.Two Thousand, One Hundred & Eighty-Six

Finally Friday.
I'm craving just a little bit of coffee, in this chair right here, in this light, with this view.
Oh. No plan. I chuckle to myself.
Constantly trying to remind myself that there is still plenty of time. But maybe not enough time for all of the things I want to do and be.
Their last Friday of school. The last Friday with the sound of clinking plates in the back seat of the car.
The five stages of change.
Balance.
The house is a disaster. Tomorrow. I can do it tomorrow.
Pushing fear to the back of your mind.
This is not the kind of game that’s fun to watch, but the company is good, and there’s a little bit of wine.

alisha sommer 5/30/24 alisha sommer 5/30/24

Summer’s morning light.
Peonies bursting open. Summer is here.
Never one to shy away from the audacious.
There is something different about him today. Tired, maybe? Worried, maybe? Just life, maybe?
Realizing that there is still so much that you don’t know but I do love a good presentation.
Wondering if it’s better for me to sit and be quiet, keep my thoughts to myself. People have a hard time with the ones who are always asking questions.
A 2 a.m. arrival? I know we’re all groaning on the inside.
One more chapter.
These long talks at the dinner table when no one is in a rush to get up, and the words keep flowing, and you think to yourself, “This isn’t so bad.”
Friday.

alisha sommer 5/29/24 alisha sommer 5/29/24

Tuesday. No. Wednesday.
White pants. Do I dare?
More tea. No coffee. Lots of water.
Okay. The keys do work, but only if you put them all the way in, which means they don’t really work.
Only three.
That can wait.
Was it worth the fight?
Feelings are temporary.
Tight muscles. Everything is sore from flat-soled shoes. The hill is bitter today.
“Your presence will require something different.”

alisha sommer 5/28/24 alisha sommer 5/28/24

Could use one more.
Second-to-last Tuesday before the end of the school year.
The time passes anyway.
Feeling the effects of no coffee for the past two days.
This is what happens when things are created in a vacuum.
Something to block out the noise.
The gift of self-inquiry and reflection; the gift of the desire to see your whole self with all of its beauty and imperfections.
Habit tracking.
Hot sun against my arms. They are shaking the cowbell in my ear. All of the screaming. I tell him that this was too soon after Bottle Rock. I needed a silent-film version of this game.
A handful of Oreos while watching them play. I feel a pang of envy for their joyful display. Take me back to those moments.
Create them for me.