Ten.Two Thousand, One Hundred & Ninety-Three
Like clockwork.
I feel hungover, but I think it’s just an emotional thing.
Seems so much cooler this morning. That should make things easier today.
I'm grateful for a few more moments to drink my coffee. Then I remember that I need to check my work emails because it’s not Saturday; it’s only Friday.
I watch them throw tulle through the arms of the posts, and it brings a smile to my face. The hardest part is over. We did it.
Cobb salad and emails and sunshine interrupted by laughter. I haven’t really eaten in three days.
“thank you for the dance i had a lot of fun.”
The five of us not sitting in the baseball stands.
I wish I could have bottled up those feelings.
A tour of gratitude.
Ten.Two Thousand, One Hundred & Ninety-Two
Today’s the day.
They all stop in front of the bench for the obligatory last-day-of-school photo without any complaint. Growth in different ways.
The last school drop-off with everyone in the car.
He’s awfully friendly for so early in the morning, but it’s a good way to start the day.
Balloons, cotton candy, popcorn, hamburgers, hot dogs, shaved ice. Twinkly lights. Summer breezes.
This might be the longest three hours I’ve had in a long time.
I think everyone is happy.
I keep losing my phone.
I tell her that I’m just so glad that I got to do it with them. The magic comes from the work of a good core crew.
32 minutes to take this test.
Ten.Two Thousand, One Hundred & Ninety
Long but short.
You can tell by the way the morning sky looks that it’s going to be hot. You can see it, and you can feel it.
Don’t ask questions; express gratitude.
Taking in all of the beauty, trying to stay present, and not thinking about the emails that still need to be done.
Will I regret taking emails instead of taking a seat for lunch?
Water, water, and more water.
When it’s the end of the day, and the brain just isn’t working anymore. When you start to think that you must be going mad because nothing is making sense.
He seems happy, which makes me happy.
There is so, so much to do.
“I don’t know whether it was a divine stupidity or a great faith that made them do it…. It is argued that because they believed thoroughly in a just, moral God they could put their faith there and let the smaller securities take care of themselves as individuals, because they knew beyond a doubt that they were valuable and potentially moral units—because of these they could give God their own courage and dignity and then receive it back.” - East of Eden
Ten.Two Thousand, One Hundred & Eighty-Nine
Monday. Last week of school.
Just one small cup. Or two.
The one morning they are actually on time is the day they don’t have to leave as early.
This dance is giving me nightmares.
Sometimes, you can feel the truth of it all in your bones.
“Look at a man the way he is and he only becomes worse, but look at him as if he were what he could be, then he becomes what he should be.” - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I run home to grab the boxes and see him walking up behind me. He says he has a two-hour lunch break. I want to stay and eat with him. For a moment, I panic. There are only two more years of this.
“…then you’d have more time to work on your writing,” she says. Another tug from the universe.
I'm kind of glad it’s a shorter work day than we anticipated, though it means there will be some heavier lifting in the coming days.
I reverse my walking route, and my legs certainly feel it. I don’t focus on the pace, just finishing. The gleaming flaxen light from the setting sun. Sweat dripping from beneath the brim of my hat. Gratitudes.
Ten.Two Thousand, One Hundred & Eighty-Eight
5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
Who’s texting this early? Oh, no. I need to switch them to the work phone ASAP.
I was right. I do like the way the light hits this little vase full of eucalyptus. I look forward to when the sun sets over the bunch of white peonies.
Just the two of us for practice today. I keep forgetting about those cobwebs. Everything is tight.
They want time in the gym. He shoots. She does volleyball drills. I answer more emails.
Laundry, laundry, and more laundry.
Feeling the heat.
I really only eat hot dogs in the summer, and they always taste so good.
One of the best things about summer is how you want to linger long after the party ends because the sun is still bright and the high heat of the day has just passed, and there’s still more wine and you’ve almost forgotten that tomorrow is Monday.
The last week.