Ten.One Thousand, Two Hundred & Twenty-Nine

1. It feels like Friday, but it is only…Thursday?

2. Where’s my light?

3. The benefit of no school is the slower pace of the morning—the time to actually drink my hot tea in a chair and not behind the wheel.

4. Most of the time it’s not personal, but sometimes it is.

5. This is gonna happen. Dream big. Keep the dreams big. And don’t listen to anyone who wants to shrink them. Because why not? And why not you?

6. At least I still have them. At least I still have them.

7. I feel a headache coming.

8. I walk through the building and see that their office is dark. A twinge of sadness.

9. Twenty minutes and learned something new. A sense of accomplishment. If only I could feel this more.

10. “What if, instead of accepting injury as inevitable and a part of what it means to play sports, trainers and coaches began incorporating pliability training into the traditional strength and conditioning system, educating bodies to absorb and disperse the forces placed upon them?” - The TB12 Method

Ten.One Thousand, Two Hundred & Twenty-Eight

1. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

2. Before I roll out of bed, I try to make a very long list of gratitudes.

3. I shuffle around in the dark. The light is taking a little longer to poke through. The wifi isn’t working. Neither is the cellular service.

4. Ah. Here comes the rain. She doesn’t seem to care about her hair getting wet. My insides are screaming.

5. He asks me for my “why.”

6. Still nothing.

7. Too much.

8. I try to do as much as I can while I have the signal and immediately regret it.

9. He’s trying to get more female coaches, he says.

10. I wish today was my Friday, too.

Ten.One Thousand, Two Hundred & Twenty-Seven

1. Tuesday.

2. Sunnier than I thought it would be. This gives me joy. A little bit of peace.

3. Second breakfast: a bowl of grapefruit and slices of avocado drizzled with olive oil and flaky salt. Decaf coffee and a pressed juice.

4. No. It’s not for me.

5. Packed.

6. I need to do some more research.

7. Over-promising and under-delivering.

8. Control what you can control.

9. Sometimes, when he moves, it's like he is moving in slow motion. It's not slow. It's grace.

10. We’ll do it, too, one of these days.

Ten.One Thousand, Two Hundred & Twenty-Six

1. Up before the alarm. A good trend.

2. Day four.

3. I light a fire in the dark, in the silence.

4. This situation suits me best.

5. I see her text. I guess I don’t need to hesitate to pick up the phone anymore. We can keep that part of the routine.

6. Am I in the post-season depression stage of the year?

7. Why am I even on this call?

8. I should say “no,” but I’m going to talk with him about it anyway. Because besides feeling like I don’t have enough time, I feel unqualified, and I should question that feeling.

9. The chicken has no flavor.

10. Just take a shower.

Ten.One Thousand, Two Hundred & Twenty-Five

1. 5 a.m.

2. Two days. I think that’s why I’m sleeping better.

3. The morning light. The cobwebs in the corner. The windows need to be cleaned.

4. Everything is tight, but the stretch still feels good.

5. I hate being late.

6. This is not something you ever see in a place like this.

7. Trying to slow down the passage of time.

8. Pre-work for a not-real class, but it’s good prep for what’s to come.

9. I worry that I might be too tired to do it, to do anything.

10. “We never stopped believing.”