Ten.Four Hundred & Forty-Nine

1. I can’t tell if my tooth is hurting for real or if it’s just a very realistic dream.

2. I can see the fog rising up from the wetlands out back. It’s a very fall-like scene.

3. There is nothing to do today but make him his birthday meals and do all the laundry and the dishes and pray that someone calls with an offer today.

4. I bring the baskets of clothes up from the basement but instead of folding laundry decide to sit on the porch in the sun and read a cook book. I am longing for something quiet and restorative.

5. I tell her that the things that I used to do to calm myself are no longer working. I’m needing new things to center myself.

6. We finally get to connect and I feel so much better. I feel like, “yes, oh yes, this is what I’m meant to be doing. This is what feels good. And how do I have more of this?” We talk out way through the ideas for next year’s retreat. It’s getting closer and closer and I truly can’t wait.

7. I grab three wines: Klipfel Cremant D’Alsace, Domaine Gilles Noblet Macon-Fuisse, and Domaine Chante Cigale Chateauneuf-Du-Pape.

8. He wants a pound cake and so that’s what I get started on first. My arm feels sore from folding the meringue into the stiff batter.

9. Good house smells.

10. Maybe there will be good news this week.