Ten.Four Hundred & Fifty

1. Almost to 500. When will this end? Will it ever? I don’t need to decide.

2. The sky is showing off for sure.

3. Today is a self-serve breakfast day. I’ll make the smoothies, they can grab oatmeal or a bagel, fruit. I need to gather myself.

4. Another hawk.

5. I go upstairs to wake the older two an then realize that he has before-school intramurals. The youngest one tells me that it might be a good idea for me to write things down on a piece of paper so that I can remember them.

6. I do like days like this when he can drive me around to do my errands.

7. One man with a small set of speakers around his shoulders blasting Bob Marley while perusing produce.

8. Cloud cover but there is still good light and a light breeze.

9. Vulnerability hangover. I see my weaknesses. One of those weaknesses is how often I perceive myself to have weaknesses that actually do not exist. There is also the continuing need for external validation and when it’s not received, retreating back and away from the things that are tugging on the heart. And then there is also the way in which I continue to punish myself for past mistakes and failures from years and years and years ago. This kind of self-flagellation is no good for the spirit. How do I continue to move forward in spite of this?

10. Ducks and geese flying north. That doesn’t seem to make sense. But I bet they have a sense of what to do. There’s something to be said about a life lived on instinct.