Ten.Six Hundred & Thirteen

1. Oh. Maybe it won’t rain today.

2. “Everyone in the car?” I turn around and see two faces. We’re good to go.

3. The cleaning is not going to get done today and I know it won’t and I’m trying to make peace with it.

4. I hear my name and look up and it’s a friendly face. A black face. I am at first surprised and then I remember that this is one of the reasons we came here.

5. “Would you prefer a male or a female?” “Female. And can I ask that she be of color?” “Of course. We can do that.”

6. Fifteen years off and on and I can say that I’ve never had a black therapist. Never. And I’ve looked but rarely was there ever anyone in my area. No one I could get to with ease. But this is why we moved here. I needed to have access to care providers that look like me.

7. We talk about stuckness. She reminds me to not worry about the how but to hold on to the dream.

8. We select dates for May, October, and January. It feels good to commit.

9. She’s there waiting for me.

10. We both gush over our California experiences today. These are the things that happen that affirm our decision to move. The stress of it all has been worth it, even if it is sending me back to therapy to gather resources to help me adjust with this major transition. The good is outweighing everything else and that puts the soul at ease.