Ten.Nine Hundred & Fifty-One

1. Monday. Throat doesn’t feel as rough. Maybe the voice will be back today.

2. Only a little raspy.

3. Seems like we’re all running just a little bit behind. Not surprised. I hate feeling so rushed. But I needed to bring the camera out. I needed to say something.

4. I just want to stay focused.

5. I miss my words. I wonder what it might be like to sit and write about new things in new ways. I’m still leaning on old language and ideas even though so much newness is present. It’s just time. I feel like there is never enough time.

6. I walk with her back to her car. She tells me what she’s worried about with all of the changes going on. It makes me wonder if I’m in the wrong field of work. People tell me things, lots of things, things I don’t ask to know and yet, for whatever reason, they continue to let the words fall out of their mouths.

7. Tedium.

8. Walking meeting. I wish the garden was unlocked. The sun is so bright. This is why we moved here: for 72 degrees in February. For so much sun. I think about the hammock at home. I won’t have time for it today.

9. We break the rules and let them watch the television. I just need them to not ask me questions while I make this. Pearl Couscous would have been better but the dittalini works just fine. Roasted tomatoes and herbs and chickpeas and feta and parmesan, fresh dill and fresh parsley. A drizzle of olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Worth dinner being late.

10. So many tears.