Ten.Nine Hundred & Fifty-Eight

1. Up earlier than I wanted to be but I attribute that to an early bedtime. Before 9pm? Winning.

2. Not enough milk for drop biscuits so I decide on scones instead. How in the world are you supposed to accurately add half of a beaten egg?

3. Perfectly crisp scone bottoms and hot coffee. I finish typing up my responses. I hope that they make sense. The thing is, I still don’t have the most perfect words for it all, but hopefully this is enough.

4. She asks if I have time to talk today. My first instinct is to say “no” because right now I feel like hiding. But I know I will feel better if I say “yes.”

5. She asks me about community for myself. I tell her that I don’t have one yet. That I realize that I need one. That the places in which I thought I might find it have not turned out to be what I needed. I know it takes time. I am only 15 months in. It seems like a long time but it also isn’t. But I also wonder if we just need to move.

6. So grateful for a short week.

7. He uses the most perfect analogy about kitchens. Now, I actually understand. As he’s talking, I add up the dollars in my head. I feel uncomfortable. I realize I am uncomfortable because I know that I’m about to make a big ask. Still so much work to do.

8. New phone to replace the one that will be given back at the end of the week. I want a local number for this position. I’ll need something better than the 6 for what I’ll be doing. Still uncomfortable.

9. While the soup simmers step outside to swing in the hammock. The sun feels so good.

10. I worry about the dry winter and the breezes and wonder what it will mean for fire season.

11. The margarita is just okay. We could have made a better one at home and sat in the sun. Summertime goal: a well-stocked bar for patio drinks. Remember to ask Hilde about the cocktail book she used that one season.