Ten.One Thousand, One Hundred & Eighty-Four

1. Slept in.

2. Still waiting to get coffee. Should try one of the other bakeries Rachel suggested.

3. I stare at myself in the mercury glass. What do I see?

4. This little corner. What I can I do in this space?

5. I go down to the room and someone else is in there and she tells me that she thought those people were with me. They are not. I reserved that room two days ago. I try not to be angry, but I fight back tears in the business center. It just wasn’t what I wanted, but I don’t have the energy to fight about it.

6. Familiar faces.

7. I don’t know. It just felt right.

8. I literally don’t have cash, but I give them my pocket change. Who knows. Hopefully it just helps them get whatever it is they need.

9. All of the meats and cheeses. It is overwhelming. Wine. I’m having trouble making choices.

10. The guidance counselor calls to check in on us. I find myself rambling. Oh. Maybe I am the one who needs help the most right now.

11. But really, what do you do with the rotting food? I don’t want to bring the kids back to a house full of smoke. Should we continue to stay somewhere else until the smell is gone? What will seeing the burned houses do to them? Do to me?

12. The boys make the pasta dough with the moms and the girls make the charcuterie board. It feels like the most normal thing to be doing.

13. Is there a such thing as too much ricotta?

14. Laughter. They are playing hide and seek. I like this adopted family.

15. She says it will be at least two more weeks.

16. So many texts I haven’t responded to.