Ten.Two Thousand, Two Hundred & Fifty-Two

1. Breathing into the depths.

2. It's a jeans and a blazer kind of day.

3. But these Dot’s pretzels, though.

4. Fantasy Football group chats. And, so it begins.

5. He orders a milkshake, and I don’t say anything because it’s summer, and it’s just him, and why not? The gentleman behind the bar fills my glass a little above the line. I think of it as a loyalty perk.

6. I think about how I describe it as a Freudian slip. How I said, “You guys,” and how he said, “You mean, ‘we.’”

7. Why am I here?

8. I tell her that I believe in signs and this was one.

9. No. It’s just me. I’m the problem. I’m feeling my own existential angst.

10. The algorithm didn’t like that one.

Ten.Two Thousand, Two Hundred & Fifty-One

1. Deep breaths before kicking off the covers.

2. Taking in the morning. Hot coffee. Feet on wood. The quiet.

3. I should have just stayed home.

4. Sometimes, I say too little, and sometimes, I think I say too much. But this is all good.

5. Nine.

6. Writing and writing and rewriting. I think this makes sense.

7. The emperors have no clothes.

8. I do miss these people.

9. I tell her that we talked for two hours today because we hadn’t talked in five days.

10. Something about the waning light and the lush green of the ivy and the brick and the string lights.

Ten.Two Thousand, Two Hundred & Fifty

1. He tells me to wait.

2. I tell her that this is a trend, and I leave it as is.

3. Yeah, I'm just stressed. He’s right. I'm anxious. I don’t want to do this.

4. “That was guilt, by the way.” “Oh, I know.”

5. That smile on his face.

6. “I wish they had been meaner. Everyone.”

7. It’s only Tuesday. It’s only Tuesday? It’s only Tuesday.

8. I always think practice ends at 6, and it’s 6:30. I buy myself a rice krispies treat to eat in the car while I wait.

9. They all agree that a 3-strikes rule will be appropriate.

10. I apologize for the late dinner. They’re not upset. “As long as it’s before 8,” he says.

Ten.Two Thousand, Two Hundred & Forty-Nine

1. This week.

2. Honoring my hunger and its different manifestations.

3. She’s right. I should just tell the truth and tell it now.

4. Another car full of girls. Today is a much shorter day.

5. She thinks it easier because she understands the asks. It’s easier because she’s experienced the hard.

6. Only two more weeks until another set of classes begins. I’m on my way. I’m on my way.

7. Dehydrated.

8. Grapes and cherries and answers to questions you didn’t want to ask.

9. This feels a little rigged. Is it supposed to be this easy? I am glad it was this easy.

10. I forgot to practice.

Ten.Two Thousand, Two Hundred & Forty-Eight

1. Slow to rise.

2. The same black dress from Gap Body. I need 5 more of these.

3. Coffee and hammock and book. Finally. The morning fog blocks the sunlight.

4. I try to explain to him that it’s good to take a break. Every day is too much.

5. “A gentle entry.”

6. What is my wish? What is my challenge?

7. There is always good with the bad and bad with the good.

8. I finally remember to send her the images. I take a quick glance at the gallery. That was a special weekend. This is a special capture. I miss being in those kinds of spaces. I miss making art.

9. Four years now. Four years and one day.

10. Just a few more moments in the hammock before night settles in.